


You Dirty Rat

by AnitaAlways



Category: South Park
Genre: But He makes Up For It, He's the literal spawn of Cthulhu, How could he not, Kenny has eldritch powers, Set in the one dimension from Spookyfish, The other kids also have powers, They're still nine, except cartman, reverse au, superhero au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:48:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29146953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnitaAlways/pseuds/AnitaAlways
Summary: "Our city is a dystopia. And I have a duty to make it better, to fight so nobody has to go through the pain I do."
Kudos: 1





	You Dirty Rat

_ The world sucks. Trust me, I know. The only three people who hang out with me are psychopaths who treat me like a servant more than a friend. I’m locked in my room because I remind my mother of my father. The teachers hate me, the other kids love mocking me, and our city is a dystopia. And I have a duty to make it better, to fight so nobody has to go through the pain I do. People are terrible, especially the powerful. They step on the little guys and torment them like rats. And now, the Rat will scratch back.  _

The rooftops were easier than they should probably have been for a nine-year-old dressed in a grey, matted fur suit with clawed gloves and an animal mask to travel by. Granted, said nine-year-old had a mechanical prehensile tail that could help with slip-ups, among other things, but that was beside the point. The Rat had found a lead, and it was too big for just him. He needed help from the only other hero in town: Professor Chaos. 

Once his feet hit the ground in the storage area, the Rat called out. “Professor?! I know you’re out there! I don’t want to fight, I just need help!” 

Lasers appeared on the Rat’s body, and a voice replied, “Well, well. It talks.” 

“Yes, yes, I talk. Let’s all geek out and let Mysterion and his gang do whatever-” 

“M-Mysterion?” A figure jumped down from the ceiling. “You have a lead on Mysterion?! How-” 

“Not his secret identity. If I did, I’d go over to his house and beat the stuffing out of him for what he’s been doing to this town. I have a lead on something he’s doing. Little patches of that disgusting flesh stuff he uses to fight. I’ve been seeing it across town. Reacts to touch. I need locations on all of them, and you have the reach capable of getting those locations, what with your spying on everyone and all.” 

“It’s not spying, Rat!” the figure snapped, coming into the light. He wore homemade tinfoil armor and bright red clothes, and a hood shrouded his face. “It’s surveillance! Do you know how many times I’ve stopped some of the Subjugation Squad and prevented them from even trying their schemes with it?! I’ve been working so hard to keep tabs on them, and I’m so close because of the surveillance! And another thing-” 

The Rat rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Look, you have the reach and I have the information. Together, we can keep that Lovecraftian freak of nature from doing whatever he’s planning to South Park. What do you say?” he asked, putting out a gloved hand. 

Professor Chaos glared daggers at the Rat. “If we’re gonna work together, we trade names. That way we have insurance to prevent betrayal.” 

The Rat nodded. “That’s fair,” he said as the other superhero shook his hand. “What’s your name?” 

“Leopold Scotch.” 

“BUTTERS?!” the Rat squawked. 

“Y-You know me?” 

“Of course I do! I’m Eric Cartman!” 


End file.
